In a remarkably well thought out and thorough response to the conversation around whether there are similarities between this story of kidnapping and sexual abuse and the actions of the BDSM community, Thomas MacAulay Millar speaks out clearly to remind every one that, no – it is not. BDSM is not unethical behavior, and unethical behavior is not BDSM. Millar sets out a 4 point code of Ethical BDSM, reminding us that: it is unethical (and unconstitutional) to ever have an irrevocable master/slave relationship; it's unethical to leverage existing vulnerability or power imbalance into a BDSM relationship; it is unethical to do things beyond your ability as a Top; it is unethical to do things to people that they don't have enough information to make an informed decision about. He continues by calling the BDSM community to action to be more responsible for speaking up about abuse, within and outside of the community.
Early To Bed has a great rundown of a recent controversy:
In England, a 21 year old man with learning disabilities is receiving government funding to take a trip to Amsterdam for the purpose of losing his virginity to a prostitute. … This is just one of the many people receiving sexual services funded through a £520million scheme introduced to empower those with disabilities.
[A social worker] claims, "Refusing to offer him this service would be a violation of his human rights." Jezebel points out the sobering point that this is similar to language used by misogynists to defend rape. … [D]oes any one else find it odd that a country where prostitution is illegal has no problem sending a young man to see one elsewhere?
So, is sex a human right? No, but sexuality is. … Should taxpayers foot the bill for a 21 year old's sex holiday? Hell no.