Horrific headlines of nonconsensual torture and abuse of a young woman in Missouri has some people mistaking those activities for typical BDSM relationships. But in every important way, that’s not what we do. Due in large part to the widespread cultural stigmatization of BDSM sexuality, abusive relationships sometimes go undetected when they shouldn’t, yet consensual situations are wrongfully demonized in puritanical witch hunts. That’s what happened to cash-strapped Lisa Chavez after she accepted a job working as a dominatrix over the phone.
Every so often, a horrific story of sexual abuse hits the mainstream media and is conflated with typical BDSM relationships. In this week’s episode, we take a step back from our poly-glut format to focus on an issue near and dear to our hearts: hard, uneasy, critical discussion about “The BDSM Community,” and its capital-s Scene. Joining us for the first time is principal blogger of the Yes Means Yes blog, Thomas Millar, whose razor-sharp intellect is matched only by his unabashed directness, for which we are personally very grateful. Also joining us once again this week is our good friend and founder of the sexuality community website Sex Gender Body, Arvan Reese.
This episode featured difficult conversation about a difficult issue that pushed many personal buttons for us, and may for you as well. We think some of you may be surprised at some of our views, experiences, and thoughts and we encourage your feedback in the comments, as always. We’re also working on some new ways to highlight the great contributions from listeners like you, so keep your eyes peeled for these announcements, coming soon.